Porn—you hate it or you love it. Few are ambivalent to porn, and some are even addicted. But like all good (and bad) things, too much can be worse than not enough. You may know what porn does for you in the immediate present, but what effect does it have on your love life in the long run? You might be surprised at just how scientific the answer is—and at the potential compromise we’ve dug up for you.

Turning you on, but at what price?

People love to wax moral about porn. But the true negative effect of pornography all comes down to three words: dopamine, dopamine, dopamine. This chemical is what motivates us to get out of bed, eat, achieve goals, and, yes, have sex. Our endlessly adaptable brain is wired to work perfectly, with dopamine being our big motivator. However, push that D button too many times, and your brain re-wires to form an easy addiction to this one form of pleasure, at the cost of others. You’re basically building a tolerance.

If that’s not enough to convince you that porn could be harming your natural attitudes towards sex,a 2006 study showed that people subjected to pornography reported much less satisfaction with the partner. After watch a sexed-up version of a girlfriend or boyfriend, it’s only natural that a normal, off-screen person can look like chopped liver.

So Should I Watch Porn Or Not?

Porn proponents insist that there a positive sides to viewing. What are they? Read on to see if you agree:

• Exploring the Forbidden: Porn is rife with fantasies that will never (and in some cases should never) become reality. And that’s exactly why some experts say it’s a safe outlet for darker desires.
• A Good Conversation Starter: It may sound ridiculous, but porn can be a gateway to being more open with your partner. Perhaps that’s just the excuse that a guy needs to share a fantasy he’s having with his partner, or a way a woman can guide a man to something that she wished he were doing.

Porn For Real People

Cindy Gallop, a former ad exec, gave a Ted Talk in 2009 about how porn changed her idea of sex—and it snowballed. It led to the creation ofMakeLoveNotPorn.com, a website that attempts to destroy the myths created by traditional porn and replace them with a real life POV, along with real-life porn. It invites real people to upload their real romantic encounters, censoring for sex that is too overtly pornographic. Maybe there is a happy medium for all of us.

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